Here's a breakdown of the candidates:
President:
Scotty "The Hottie" Brevard: pro-sports, pro-fun, proposes school-wide movie nights (The Notebook being the obvious choice for screening), wants to focus on fundraisers; toys for tots, blankets for babies, nothin' but nets, the let's-send-the-Sudanese-to-Rwanda fund, etc.
Jackie "Is She Still Running?" Fitch: Platform=whatever Scott says, and then some. quote "Whenever we (HHS) do something, we tend to do it very well." (Insert Oxycontin joke here).
Liz "In Case You Haven't Figured Out Already, I'm A Runner" Klemt: stated agenda; lead the student bod with a positive and progressive mindset, hidden agenda; mandatory full year P.E. courses, using Eugenics to breed super athletes capable of outrunning Amherst's football team.
Veep:
Emma "But... I Thought Europe Was A Country" DiNapoli: Not afraid to tackle the important issues, like bringing Powder Puff Football to HHS (Another Good Place for an Oxycontin joke).
KT "Too Cool For Vowels" Surratt: Another Powder Puffer, wants to design Red Sea-esque shirts for drama/choir/band; I'm thinking something to the effect of "We do it 'cause we're blue, we're the STAGE STREAKS!" or "Sure I'm A Streaker"
John "Gotch-Yer Nose" Wilson: His idea of a good time; SCA officer hide and seek, 'nough said.
Secretary:
Jenn "So Nice It's Painful" Downey: Suggests a suggestion box. Supports all school activities (yes there are a few besides football/track)
Elizabeth "I'm Fairly Gangster Myself" Johnson: proposes painting spirit rocks/ benches around the school to add character, ran out of blow-pops before I could get one.
Treasurer:
Lauren "Change Is Good" Hill: See Liz Klemt
Justin "Let Me Handle Your Gold" Goldberger: He's Jewish and he's awesome.
Reporter:
Wendy "The Stone Cold Killer" Miller: She's anti-peer pressure, or... at least that's what everyone says she should be...
Weston "Blowjob" Reynolds: Shoutout to the only candidate to actually create concise a platform. According to his pamphlet, he plans to; 1) Establish a legislative council of club officers/team captains, etc., 2) Allow clubs to apply for grants to fund school-related events, 3) Revamp Homecoming, and 4) Reduce/eliminate "Excused" absence/tardy requirements for Rennaissance cards (the idea for which came from this blog).
High Inquisitor (Write-In Office):
Jake "Jetz" Wetzel: If you're as bored as I am with the state of the SCA, (i.e. they don't actually do anything) why not show your anger at the man by modifying your ballot to include me as the enigmatic sixth officer of your student government! Seriously; do it and I'll give you candy).
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5 comments:
if they didn't discriminate seniors from voting, i would, sooo you should give me candy pleeze.
i like reeses.
you don't have a poll for High Inquisitor.
I am pretty sure that this is the best summary possible. Though a couple are a bit off if I do say so my self. *insert oxycotin joke*
Don't forget about the other popular write in canidate: Bag of Leaves.
He doesn't make any promises he can't keep. He never tells lies. He is always on time to events that occur where he is sitting at the time. He has never shown signs of laziness or corruption. And...if you rip out his guts you can frolick in them. Yay.
i wanna be on the inquisitorial squad!
ahahhaha man. i am such a nerd.
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